As the time is drawing closer to graduation, I am reminded of how God made me. As I see my self from day to day is a neurotic, OCD, too much of a planner. This is something I have realized with the exciting end to a 3 1/2 year adventure at school, to graduation day and not having a clue what was to come. For me the neurotic, OCD, too much of a planner, that is the scariest thing I could possibly think of. Not because I am going into the "grown-up world" but because I don't have a plan.... For the first time, since I do not know when, I do not have even a glimpse of what is in store for me. Do I take a receptionist position and just sneak by? Or do I jump into the waters of public school and take a chance on the challenge of teaching in some fashion.
See for me even the jobs that I have worked I knew I could do. I knew I could succeed at them and I knew I could do my best without falling to hard on my face... I know, we have all had moments like this but as of this weekend I felt trapped, trapped by the coming event of graduation and not having a plan, the realization that I will not be going to school this summer or next fall but instead I will have a whole new life. As you are reading this you may be wondering why am I rambling on about this, we here is the great lesson I have learned from this.
One, I am accepted for who I am as the neurotic, OCD, too much of a planner, and through an outreach email for prayer about the next couple of months. But I learn that I am beautifully made by my creator to be this way. Although, I do not always feel that this is my best side for the first time ever, I am resting in the knowledge of who I was created to be. This has been my resting point since Monday, when I gave into my insecurity of people seeing the real me and allowed people to not only walk with me on this journey but also love me as I am.
The most encouraging words I could have received were, "Thanks for letting us care for you an pray for you - blessed to be a part of your life and have you in mine, I will be praying." or "Praying for you, dear friend. Let me know if I can do anything to help! Walking this road with you." or "I love you and will be praying for you" or all the other words that were written to me as encouragement to know that I am loved for being the way I am. Not once did someone write I was wrong for being they way I am but instead they encouraged me to be me but also lean on God.
This is a glimpse of the Love that our creator has for each of us, as Matt a pastor at the Church I attend said, "God is a doting father, that just delights in watching His children." He delights in all of our weaknesses and wants us to seek His wisdom when we are weak. I think that is enough thought for now and I will leave you with this, find rest in who you are and know that you are loved just the way you are, if you are surrounded by people who do not see your greatness and only your flaws, let go of them and seek out those that see you for you and love you as God loves you and loves them, and spread that gift in return of loving as God loves us.
Happy Wednesday
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